Shock occurs when an event happens to someone when they weren’t expecting it. Some people experience larger shocks and some small. But any sort of shock can be emotionally damaging if left in situ. And generally speaking people don’t overcome shock. It appears like it reduces over time but this is not the case. It’s just that those suffering from shock don’t realise that it’s still there. How this occurs will be explained in this article.
The following article is split into 4 Chapters.
- What Shock Is
- How Shock Allows a Manipulator, or
Unhealthy Person, to Gain Control and Influence - Where Manipulators Come In
- Removing Shock and Unhealthy Behaviour Patterns
- Further Reading
Chapter 1 – What Shock Is
We have a good example in the previous article Destruction of Personality for Protection – in which a child experiences initial shock by being rejected by a parent.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/10/27/destruction-of-personality-for-protection/
The Child goes to Parent 1 in the hope of receiving love and warmth and sits next to Parent 1. As far as The Child is concerned this has an expected positive outcome. However, Parent 1 actually pinches The Child until it moves away. This leaves it confused and shocked.
Parent 2 sits next to Parent 1 instead. The Child sits next to Parent 2 as it now feels that to be close to Parent 1, The Child will have to allow Parent 2 to be in front of The Child. (See Figure 1 below). But even when The Child puts Parent 2 first this still leads to a negative outcome; with an end result in that The Child never tries to be close to Parent 1 ever again.
- In the first instance The Child experiences a large shock as the outcome is unexpected.
- In the second instance The Child experiences a lesser shock.
- In the third instance The Child doesn’t try to be close to Parent 1 again.
The sequence of events here is important. - In the first instance The Child experienced a greater shock
- In the second instance The Child experienced a lesser shock
- In the third instance the shock is complete and the damage is done
From this event it is clear what the shock has done. The shock has removed The Child’s ability to be openly close to anyone again. And The Child will certainly not try without getting permission first. But because The Child originally believed it did not need permission, and it never asked for it, it won’t actually seek permission in future anyway. The Child will simply do without what it needs.
The point of this example is that shock knocks out someone’s ability to do something which is natural to them.
In the example it took two shocks.
- The 1st stopped The Child from naturally going to Parent 1 but till allowed it to do so if it
put Parent 2 first. - The 2nd stopped The Child from going to Parent 1 ever at all.
Meaning by the end The Child would never just naturally go and try and get warmth and love from someone even if it felt like that person could give it.
So a shock can actually knock out an aspect of someone’s natural behaviour.
In the above example it took two shocks to completely remove that behaviour pattern. So someone could experience a shock but only part of that behaviour is knocked out. If the person kept getting shocks to that particular behaviour aspect then eventually the person wouldn’t perform that behaviour ever.
Just to note, while it’s natural to assume this might be a good way to control someone’s behaviour – DON’T. You will actually be damaging the individual psychologically as a result. There are better ways to deal with negative or harmful behaviour than psychological damage. OK, if someone is causing harm they can be prevented from doing so, but please do not use shock tactics to do it. It will have harmful and potentially unpredictable consequences.
Chapter 2 – How Shock Allows a Manipulator, or Unhealthy Person, to Gain Control and Influence
Firstly to understand this we need to look at how shock works.
How Shock Works
When a person tries to interact with another, there is usually one or more behaviours involved. This can involve physical and emotional behaviours. In order to apply the interaction one, or both, people (we’re talking about only two people to keep it simple) need to open themselves up and make themselves vulnerable to experience that interaction. Without doing this opening up no interaction will take place (see Figure 2 below).
But let’s say one person opens themselves up to be vulnerable and the other person does not react as expected. Let’s say the other person reacts in shock rather than a positive response. Rather than the one person getting a positive response they instead receive a shock to some or all behaviour patterns (see Figure 3 below).
What happens now is the person on the left, instead of receiving a positive response, they receive a shock response. The shock response is then taken on board by that person and silences their own natural behaviour patterns.
Just like in the article, Destruction of Personality for Protection the shock received by The Child from Parent 1 knocks out their own natural behaviour patterns. Now in that case it took two shocks to completely knock them out but in some people it happens all at once. It varies depending on the individual.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/10/27/destruction-of-personality-for-protection/
Now, the person on the left can still feel that behaviour pattern but at a very low level. So low it cannot experience it outwardly in the real world due to the shock response they received when they made themselves vulnerable. It’s like when a person interacts with the world it goes from the inside to out.
Figure 4 below shows someone in healthy state whereby their internal intention is turned into an action in the real world illustrated in the green arrows (intention) to the green outer layer (their real world interaction)
Figure 5 below shows a person who has suffered shock and their outer actions no longer reflect their inner intent. In red, though they may intend some positive interaction, outwardly they are too scared to do it in case they get hurt or something bad happens to them.
For this example we’re just illustrating one behaviour pattern that’s been knocked out. An individual will have many. Which are functioning normally will depend how many shocks they have received as a result of interactions that have ended negatively.
Figure 6 below illustrates what has happened to the left hand person. The shock received from the right hand person has pushed back the behaviour patterns of the left hand person. This is akin to having surgery and having tools pulling back the skin. But in this case the tools remain and the skin is permanently pulled back leaving an open wound. And just like an open wound this wound needs to be filled or covered in order to protect what’s inside.
So what happens is this leaves gaps where their normal behaviour patterns should be. This person doesn’t just remain in shock but actually takes on other behaviour patterns from someone else to fill this gap.
So not only is the person too shocked to display their natural behaviour but takes on someone else’s instead.
It would work like the individual wanting to take an action, being too afraid to take that action and instead taking a less fearful action instead. However the less fearful action would likely be from the behaviour pattern that belonged to someone else. Think of it as experiencing the world from someone else’s point of view. You are too afraid to be yourself in case you get hurt so you instead be someone else. But then the question would be who’s behaviour patterns does the person take on to fill that open wound?
It wouldn’t be someone that matched their own behaviour patterns because those behaviour patterns are being held back by shock. It is most likely then to be someone who is scared of such behaviour patterns and therefore would be very unhealthy for the individual with the trauma gaps.
It could be from the person who responded with a shock reaction or it could be someone else nearby. In the article Destruction of Personality for Protection https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/10/27/destruction-of-personality-for-protection/ it seems many of the negative behaviour patterns likely came from Parent 2 as The Child was always scared of Parent 2 whenever they wanted to behave naturally. However, Parent 1 responded in shock to The Child’s actions so the fear behaviour patterns could have actually come from Parent 1; if Parent 1 was actually scared of Parent 2. If Parent 1 reacted out of fear of The Child’s actions it could have actually been a fear of Parent 2. Therefore The Child could have picked this up from Parent 1.
If this was the case it raises the question as to why The Child went to Parent 1 in the first place. But consider the circumstances. Parent 2 was around. Parent 1 reacted when Parent 2 was around. Had Parent 2 not been around then Parent 1 might have reacted more positively. Perhaps The Child was correct in what Parent 1 could give them but was not aware that Parent 1 might have actually had fears about Parent 2. So The Child took on Parent 1’s fears of Parent 2. The Child then found themselves in fear of Parent 2 from then on and was scared to take any action beneficial to itself because of the fear of Parent 2 was now part of its behaviour patterns.
It’s as if the fear unknowingly spreads like a virus to anyone who is vulnerable to it. First comes the shock and attached to this is a new behaviour pattern that replaces the victim’s own. Though we have to remember that not everyone is vulnerable to shock and not everyone will receive and take in shock from others. But for those who do this remains a problem.
Consider what happened in the above example and what behaviours changed. Supposing Parent 1 believed that you should only get love and warmth from Parent 2 and to fear Parent 2. When The Child tried to interact with Parent 1 it likely adopted the behaviour patterns from Parent 1.
But as with Figures 5 and 6 the change is only on the surface. That is, only the way The Child interacts with the real world outside of their deep subconscious. Meaning The Child still feels deep down that Parent 1 is the right one for these things but their surface behaviour patterns now mean they’ll be drawn to Parent 2 for these things despite not feeling this is right. They won’t feel comfortable deep down that it’s right to share their emotions with Parent 2 but on the surface The Child feels an obligation to do so.
Outwardly The Child feels obliged to go for Parent 2 for the things it needs but when it does The Child is quite aware that this isn’t right for it. But because it now has new behaviour patterns and is in shock it cannot do anything else.
It could explain why people have so much difficulty leaving abusers or abusive situations. They feel they cannot leave because their behaviour patterns are dictating that they should always go back to their abusers for the things they need despite getting hurt in the process. The Child in the above example experienced the same. They couldn’t properly interact with anyone else that was better for them because their outward behaviour patterns were now guiding them only to get that from Parent 2.
In some ways it feels like living the world through someone else’s eyes and body. They know they’re trapped inside and but don’t feel they can do anything about it because they’ll always be drawn back to their abusers/manipulators or negative people.
They know deep down it isn’t what they want but every time they try to interact with healthier people it feels like their abuser is there watching them or aware of what they’re up to. It feels like they are inside their abuser and their abuser does not want them interacting with these healthier people and makes them push these healthy people away through their behaviour patterns.
In the article Destruction of Personality for Protection, https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/10/27/destruction-of-personality-for-protection/ The Child initially adopts the behaviour patterns of Parent 1. So in future it went to Parent 2 for the things it needed even though it didn’t feel right deep down. However, each time it interacted with Parent 2 in its natural way, often The Child would suffer abuse and shock. It’s behaviour patterns dictated that Parent 2 was the right one to go to, but each time it tried it experience shock because The Child’s adopted behaviour patterns didn’t indicate it would receive a negative outcome. So in turn with this shock The Child adopted the behaviour patterns of Parent 2. This meant even later in life it couldn’t interact with healthy people because the adopted behaviour patterns of Parent 2 wouldn’t allow healthy normal interaction to take place, at least not was normal for The Child. Prior to this incident The Child would not go to Parent 2 for the things it needed because it knew they weren’t the right person to go to. It knew on the inside that Parent 2 wasn’t right for giving The Child what it really needed.
But this also brings up the question of why The Child went for Parent 1 in the first place.
We can only speculate that Parent 1 had also experienced some shock at some point and their behaviour patterns did not match the inner person’s intentions. So, perhaps The Child only sensed the inner person of Parent 1 and not the adopted behaviour patterns. But when The Child tried to interact with Parent 1 it was going through Parent 1’s adopted behaviour patterns and these made Parent 1 feel uncomfortable when approached by The Child. So Parent 1 reacted in panic according to their adopted behaviour patterns.
Just as the The Child itself experienced later in life with other people. It was afraid to be it’s real self because it feared Parent 2 finding out.
But there was one thing The Child didn’t do which would have indicated that there were something wrong after the incident.
The Child Did Not Cry
Instead it went into shock and believed it had done something wrong. If The Child’s behaviour patterns were normal, and its own, then logically would give some indication that it was upset.
It can then be speculated that prior to that incident The Child had experienced a negative reaction from someone when it had cried. An abusive reaction that caused shock. So when The Child was crying and wanting to be comforted, instead it suffered some sort of abuse; possibly on more than one occasion to make it believe that crying will only cause more issues for itself.
In addition, it believed it’s own actions led to something very wrong happening. It believed the outcome was entirely it’s own fault and if it tried such things again it would mean it was doing wrong. This could only have come from some sort of past abuse directed towards The Child; in which any positive behaviour was punished.
So it could be something like illustrated in the table below.
Some of this could be why some people who have been abused go onto be abusers themselves. It’s not saying ALL go on to be abusers mind. But those who do, are likely adopting some of the behaviour patterns of their abusers and as a result seeing that behaviour as normal. This is probably why it is a good idea to look at ways of removing shock; or indeed not applying it in the first place. You remove the shock, you also remove the adopted behaviour patterns. Though it takes time.
Chapter 3 – Where Manipulators Come In
So imagine there are two people interacting and they interact positively. They both get a positive response and all goes well.
But, one of them is afraid of another individual and that individual comes on the scene. The interaction can suddenly turn from a healthy one to one of fear. The one in fear reacts in shock and the other party involved takes on that shock and the fears of the new behaviour patterns. That actually gives the manipulative individual an easy task as they can now control both parties through fear.
See the article Mind of a Manipulator for further details on how manipulative people operate.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/07/26/mind-of-a-manipulator/
That of course is not to say that the individual they’re now both afraid of is a master manipulator but could be a mild one. But this also means that neither party with be relaxed or behave naturally whenever that individual is around.
But the question is, what can be done? They could stay away from that individual they’re scared of but that would mean never being able to act naturally or healthily again. The best way would be to remove either the shock or the unhealthy behaviour patterns which is covered in Chapter 4 of this article.
Another thing we need to look at is how a manipulator instils control over their victim. As we’ve seen earlier this can either happen because the victim takes on shock aspects of someone scared of the manipulator or the victim takes on the shock aspects and fears of the manipulator themselves. Either way it can only happen if the victim is scared of the other person. The fear actually allows a manipulative person to gain control of a victim. The fear of the victim being themselves means they open themselves up because they’re pulling back their own aspects from the situation which leaves a gap. That gap is then filled by the fears from the other person. So the victim takes on someone else’s fears. So if the other person is a manipulator, or the other person fears a nearby manipulator, the victim becomes terrified whenever the manipulator is around. All a manipulator has to do then to take control is to do something to activate the new fears in the victim. Once activated the victim will take on more fears that the manipulator instils in their victim. But remember that those fears also exist within the manipulator.
In order to manipulate someone, a manipulator finds out what they fear and use that to control them. So say the victim is afraid of something happening or someone harming them. The manipulator will say something along the lines of:
“if you don’t do as I say, that which you fear will come about.” or “if you don’t do this, that person will cause you harm”
That’s not to say they’ll use those exact words but they’ll use the fear of their victim to effectively control them. For example, they could steer them to do negative things out of fear that something even worse will happen to them if they don’t. These negative things could be something harmful to them or something harmful to someone else. Because, to the victim, it’s much better to do something negative if it means avoiding that terrible thing which could happen if they don’t.
…to the victim, it’s much better to do something negative if it means avoiding that terrible thing which could happen if they don’t comply.
That’s what fear does to people. They become so scared of something terrible happening that they’ll do anything to prevent it from happening; even going so far as to commit negative acts in order to keep it at bay. So if a manipulator learns what a victim truly fears then all they have to do is make it appear like it’s going to happen unless they do something to stop it; and the thing that will stop it will be something that will benefit the manipulator. Such things could include:
- Some financial gain for the manipulator
- Status
- Financial security
- Relationship
- Relationship security
- Friendship
- A job or career enhancement
- Having the victim stay away from people the manipulator considers a threat including healthy connections for the victim.
Generally the thing the manipulator will make the victim do will be something which harms someone else in the process. It will either harm the victim or someone the victim likes. But the manipulator will convince the victim that their great fear will happen unless they go through with it.
This can be especially bad where genuine connections are concerned. A manipulator could convince a victim to do something harmful to a genuine connection by convincing the victim their greatest fear will occur if they do not go along with it. This can have serious consequences later for the victim and their genuine connection. Because once the act is done the victim knows they have hurt someone they liked. But this guilt will also mean the victim being unable to face that person ever again out of fear of what they’ll say or do as a result. The manipulator’s victim will likely then avoid and keep out of contact with the friend they hurt out of fear of the consequences. They know they have hurt their friend and are afraid to look them in the eye and admit they’ve hurt them. You could say they fear the friend totally rejecting them if they try to make contact again.
So now not only has the victim hurt their friend (or genuine connection) but is unable to face them again out of shame and guilt of what they’ve done. But, what the victim doesn’t realise is it is the manipulator which caused it in the first place. And a genuine connection is more likely to be upset from not being in contact with the victim rather than what has been done. If there is no contact then the situation cannot be positively resolved.
…a genuine connection is more likely to be upset from not being in contact with the victim rather than what has been done.
A genuine connection is more likely to want to find out why they hurt was done and try and resolve the issue. A bad reaction is more likely to come from a manipulator. But the manipulator will make their victim believe that the bad reaction will come from the genuine connection. This also ensures the victim never reconnects with their genuine friend and allows the manipulator to maintain control. Because if a victim has no genuine friends or connections then there is no one around to reassure the victim that everything is OK or that things can be easily resolved.
The manipulator wants their victim in fear. So a genuine connection, of the victim, taking away that fear is going to be a threat to the manipulator. So somehow the manipulator must sever the connection between the victim and a genuine connection. And the best way to do that is to manipulate the victim into causing harm or hurt to their genuine friend. And they’ll do this by making the victim terrified that their greatest fear will occur if they don’t hurt or harm their genuine connection. Such examples of harm could include:
- Ignoring the genuine connection when they need help.
- Refusing help to the genuine connection.
- Refusing to speak to or directly contact the genuine connection.
- Sitting back and allowing the genuine connection to come to some harm – this could be physical harm or emotional.
- Not responding to the genuine connection when they’re in trouble and/or in real fear.
- Severing all contact with the genuine connection even when they beg to be in contact again.
- Giving the impression that the victim is no longer interested in the genuine connection – this could be by showing the victim happy with a new connection with the intent that the genuine connection will feel like the connection has been severed (though in reality, no genuine connection can be severed. But, this sort of tactic could also induce shock in the genuine connection and lead to many negative issues as a result).
It’s all to do damage to the connection and make sure the victim has no genuine people around them to reassure them that everything is OK. As a result the victim feels so bad at the hurt they’ve caused that they can no longer face their genuine friend or have any further genuine interaction with them. It can also have the result that the genuine friend goes into shock and/or feels very hurt and upset at what the victim has done. But, with the no contact it means the victim and the genuine connection cannot get together to resolve the issue which can lead to serious psychological damage on both parts because they feel like they have an open wound that needs healing but one or both are in too much fear to come back to each other to resolve it. Which of course plays into the hands of a manipulator. A victim in fear is a victim that can be controlled.
A victim in fear is a victim that can be controlled.
Chapter 4 – Removing Shock and Unhealthy Behaviour Patterns
A simple method has been found to remove shock and any behaviour patterns that are not natural to an individual. Although people can seek counselling or specialists for removing trauma, this is a simple lightweight method you can use yourself. Although it does take time.
The way shock works is it tends to hit you all at once. As with the above example you might have several behaviour patterns hit at once. But removing shock all at once can be difficult to concentrate one. It’s better to remove each element bit by bit.
This method allows you to take control of your lives and allows you to remove shock, adopted behaviours and negative thought patterns at your own pace without pressure.
In Figure 6 it is shown that that when shock occurs it pushes back any behaviours you were using at the time of the shock. When you feel that it feels like you’re breathing it in to as far as it can go as if it withdrawn from a bad situation that could cause you harm. But when this is done, it gets trapped in that position. The method below allows for that shock to be dissolved and your natural behaviour pattens can relax back into their original position.
There are two ways of tackling this,
You can dissolve the shock or you can dissolve the adopted behaviour patterns.
Both appear to be linked in some way so when you remove one you also remove the other. It depends which one you’re aware of the strongest.
There are two ways to deal with either part. You need to think of this as one thing with two parts. With shock at one end and an adopted behaviour pattern at the other (see Figure 7 below)
Figure 7 only shows one adopted behaviour pattern to keep the understanding simple. But in reality there will be many that need to be dealt with an removed. When shock hits people it is usually a lot of natural behaviour patterns knocked back at once and replaced.
You’ll note that the adopted behaviour pattern looks like it’s been implanted. When removing shock or adopted behaviours this becomes a lot more noticeable in that the person can feel as if they have something spiking them. It’s not quite akin to pins and needles but it feels uncomfortable enough to feel like it shouldn’t be there.
It should be noted it’s not physically spiked in. These are emotions, feelings, behaviours. They’re not things you can physically dissolve. Though when the spiking sensation becomes more apparent it’s sometimes easier to focus on dissolving these bits. They are like the connectors to the adopted behaviour patterns. You remove the connectors and it can no longer attach. With that and the shock removed your normal behaviour patterns should start to return to normal.
The question is raised though what’s to stop the shock reoccurring with someone else and the whole thing repeated?
Well, it doesn’t seem to be the case that this happens. It seems that with this method you immunise your system against any further reoccurrences of this type. How or why this happens is unknown at this time.
Sometimes it might feel that it hasn’t gone away or isn’t working. Well, it takes time to remove, especially if you’re going one thing at a time.
The adopted behaviour patterns can contain many emotions, feelings, thoughts and other things. Sometimes you have to dissolve all of these before it can be removed. Though as you remove each element you might note changes in which your original behaviour patterns slowly come back into being.
Note, sometimes after doing one of the methods you may feel tired and need some dream sleep. This is normal as it allows your system to re-adjust and heal. When you wake you might also become aware of other things you need to deal with.
The method is simple.
Method 1 – For Dissolving Shock
What you do is you find the feeling of that shock in your system. If you want a physical location sometimes it feels as if it’s in your sternum area. Of course it’s not physical at all because it’s emotion.
Once you can feel that shock you sort of focus on it and breath it in until it completely dissolves. But keep focusing on it as you breath it in. This might take a few goes to dissolve one element of shock.
Method 2 – For Dissolving Adopted Behaviour Patterns
These will include negative emotions, feelings, thoughts etc.
The same as Method 1 but this time you’re focusing on the negative emotion, feeling or thought.
In this case though it feels more like you’re withdrawing from the negative emotion. Sometimes just focusing on the emotion or feeling and doing the same as Method 1 will work.
If you’re trying to remove the spike connector feeling then the same method is applied. But this might take longer until it dissolves.
You’ll sometimes be aware of when the method has worked as:
- Your normal behaviour patterns come into play.
- You’ll find more positive or constructive feelings coming into play.
- Or you might just get a general sense of relief – like the relief of your normal behaviour patterns finally being able to relax back into place. It’s like with the shock they’ve been held at bay in a tense situation and too afraid to release them in case there’s danger. So when the shock/behaviour patterns are dissolved it can come as a relief.
5 – Further Reading
Destruction of Personality for Protection – Someone who destroys their own personality out of fear they will be punished for simply showing it.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/10/27/destruction-of-personality-for-protection/
Also checkout our page Behaviour Patterns (Psychology and Behaviour) for further examples of human behaviour patterns, psychology and criminal psychology.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/criminal-psychology/
Further Articles Which may be of Interest
The Tick That Feeds off its Host – Tick People are like parasites. Very manipulative people. They feed off others (Hosts) in return for giving them a feeling of connection or some sort of help
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/08/09/the-tick-that-feeds-off-its-host/
If It’s Broken Don’t Try To Fix It – Manipulators will often be someone the victim knows. They couldn’t manipulate their victim if they didn’t know them and certainly couldn’t if the victim didn’t trust them with their best kept secrets.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/07/20/if-its-broken-dont-try-to-fix-it/
Defective Human Radar – How humans veer towards others who are unhealthy for them out of fear or misunderstanding.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/07/05/defective-human-radar/
How Two Positive People Become Separated – When healthy people connect and work together they can create healthy outcomes. When healthy people are manipulated to pull away from other healthy people they can only achieve partial healthy outcomes.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/07/17/how-two-positive-people-become-separated/
Fission Reactor? – When two people form a genuine healthy connection they naturally want to help each other. Helping each other will not feel like a chore to do, it will feel like a joyful thing to experience. If helping someone feels like a chore then they are not in genuine healthy connection.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/07/28/fission-reactor/
Why It’s Important to Have Interactions with the Right People – A human isolated from an early age, will likely always find themselves isolated from those that are the same as them. Because an isolated human has not learnt how to interact with those who are the same as them. The result of which will be that that human will be forever alone from what it needs to stay healthy.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/10/02/why-its-important-to-have-interactions-with-the-right-people/
Destruction of Personality for Protection – Someone who destroys their own personality out of fear they will be punished for simply showing it.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/10/27/destruction-of-personality-for-protection/
Human Radar – If a healthy human is approached by another healthy human there will be no fear of threat therefore no need to be on the alert or defensive.
https://icucss.wordpress.com/2021/06/20/self-defence-human-radar/
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